My Life After Now by Verdi Jessica

Author:Verdi, Jessica [Verdi, Jessica]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2013-04-01T22:00:00+00:00

22

Tear Me Down

“Fill these out,” the lady behind the desk said, handing me a clipboard with about twenty double-sided pages attached to it.

My dads and I divided the forms up—they took the insurance and past medical history ones and I was left with the ones that only I could answer, like the social behaviors checklist and the description of present condition. I took the clipboard over to a far corner of the waiting room so I could write my answers down without worrying about anyone reading over my shoulder.

When all the forms were completed, the copay had been paid, and the formalities were over, the wait began. There sure were a lot of people here for a Saturday morning on a holiday weekend. I didn’t know whether to take that as a good sign or not—on one hand, it seemed this doctor was in high demand. On the other, a lot of the patients were in really bad shape. They were run-down and tired-looking, some were coughing, some were incredibly thin. Many looked utterly miserable. If this doctor was so great, why did his patients look so sick?

This was all getting way too real.

And still the wait continued. As patients were called into exam rooms, more patients came to sign in. The flow was endless. I focused on breathing and tried to ignore the queasiness in my stomach. I’m not sick like these people, I tried to comfort myself. It’s just nerves.

My dads and I didn’t talk much. Like magnets, our gazes kept drifting over to the muted television hanging from the ceiling, but it was nothing more than an automatic reaction to the presence of the flickering screen. I don’t think any of us were really in the mood to learn about all the terrible things that were going on in the world from the CNN ticker.

Over an hour after we checked in, my name was called. My dads got up to follow me in the room, but the nurse stopped them.

“Patients only beyond this point, please.”

I gave them the most reassuring smile I could, letting them know I’d be fine, even though I wasn’t sure if I really would, and followed the nurse into the room. She took my blood pressure, pulse, and temperature, and then handed me a faded cotton gown. “Put this on, open to the back. You can leave your underwear on, but take off everything else, including your bra.” She dropped my chart in the little plastic holder stuck to the outside of the door, and closed the door behind her.

I was all alone.

I surveyed the tiny exam room. It looked like any other doctor’s office I’d ever been in. But though it was familiar, I was anything but comfortable. Shivering, I stripped down and hurriedly put the gown on, fumbling with the ties. I left my socks on. I was freezing.

I sat up on the bed, the thin paper rumpling beneath me, and covered my legs with my hoodie.

Fifteen minutes later, there was

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